This gem arrived on my inbox recently, despite numerous my requests to remove me from their jobs mail out:
> Dear Michael
>
> Based on the information we hold on our database we believe the position outlined below may be of interest to you.
>
> POSITION DESCRIPTION:
>
> Our client is a global, top 10, digital [I edited this bit out, blah, blah blah….]
>
> Let me outline their ideal candidate.
>
> You are a geek with a compassionate heart: you just want to help! So what if you are misunderstood, sometimes, aren’t we all? Are you a techie working on half a can of jolt with frayed nerves and lovable, yet irritating character flaws, annoying those around you and, at times, causing you heartburn – it’s hard being me – screams your ulcer. You are bright, quirky and have a well organized cosmetics shelf of grooming products. Sometimes you read science fiction, dabble with the occult and, don’t forget, know a little about martial arts. You love the internet, and in turn, it loves you. Your blog site is never read, but that doesn’t matter, you hammer out a few thousand words a day, regardless, of the pain you are suffering because your hamster has gone off its food. Am I getting through to you? Your hairstyle is dated, yet cool, your dress sense is so wrong, but so right. We need you, and you need us…. just a little, but still … enough it hurts …hello … is it you I’m looking for?
>
> Now for the usual required skills blurb: You should have commercial experience with: .NET, ASP.NET [blah, blah etc…]
top marks for trying though I think the recruiter’s talents are wasted!